Thursday, October 06, 2005

Mile Marker 990

That's the sound of da police!
That's the sound of the beast!

-KRS One

This morning, while riding my bike to work, I was pulled over by the Mountain View police department! I was heading into oncoming traffic southbound on Moffet here:


Wouldn't you know, in the oncoming lane heading right toward me was a Mountain View PD squad car. As it passed, I saw the driver, a young mirrored-sunglass-wearing badge giving me the stare down. I laughed, out loud.

Imagine my suprise when I heard screeching tires in the background and caught a glimple of him pulling a full blown U-turn. Like Mike D says, I pretended not to hear him.

From that point on, it only got funnier. He was pulled up right behind me, I could hear his engine but I never acknowledged he was there. Think about it, a bike has no rear-view mirrors (okay, unless you are the 40 Year Old Virgin, in which case it has two).

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. -Hunter S. Thomson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Demetri: Good morning officer
Cop: Let me see some identification
Demetri: Sure (flips open wallet)
Cop: Please take that out
Demetri: OK
Cop: You were riding into opposite traffic
Demetri: Yea, thanks for pointint that out
Cop: (Looks at Illinois drivers license) How long have you lived in California
Demetri: 18 months
Cop: And in 18 months you never bothered to get a California drivers license or state ID?
Demetri: No, I don't drive.
Cop: On a bike, that's okay.
Demetri: Good
Cop: (Gets on shoulder mounted radio and calls in my name for warrants) ... middle inital J for John.
Demetri: smiles for the cars driving by
Cop: What made you move out here to California from Chicago
Demetri: I got a great job out here working for a software startup company
Cop: Hmm, that sounds good.
Demetri: Yea, its nice out here, I love these bike lanes
Cop: We're pretty safe with bicyclists here, not too many get involved in accidents
Demetri: Well, that's good.
Cop: Okay, have a nice day.
Demetri: You too

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